I’m a Believer.           

I found this old book in a hotel room, and I’m going to believe every word of it.

It was copied down from scrolls, the wisdom of the ancients.

The oldest scroll writing must be true. People knew more in past times than we do now.

It’s from an old language that no longer exists. It was copied into Greek or something.

Before that, it was ancient stories handed down. So it must be very wise.

It tells about miracles that are impossible today. But they were common centuries ago.

Huge cults of believers translated this book into every language and made it into several major religions.


Those religions keep fighting wars with each other over its meaning. But my group is the only right one.

The other oldest scroll books preserved in Greek, the Iliad and the Odyssey, are just myths told by an old slave.

They tell about ancient gods who disagree. But this book tells about one God.

And maybe one Devil who fights against Him, and against His son.

God and the Devil command a lot of immortal servants called angels and demons.

But nobody has seen them for thousands of years

It’s a lot easier to believe in one God than a whole Greek pantheon.

One Devil is OK to believe in too, because he’s just an opposite, the negation of good.

It’s called Monotheism.

God is all-powerful. And He wants only good to happen. But the Devil keeps winning.

Polytheism is too open-minded. It lets you accept other people’s favorite gods.

That’s idolatry. It's a sin against the One True God.

My holy book has been changed and lengthened a lot by false prophets and messiahs.

But only my version is the true Word of God.

So when I die, I’ll live forever in an invisible paradise. Non-believers will suffer infinite pain for eternity.

And they deserve it.